Got Allergy?
Yo internets.
I’ve recently discovered I have a new food allergy. I am allergic to milk and milk products. No, I am not lactose-intolerant because lactose intolerance doesn’t make you wheeze or get allergy-induced shiners. I thought I was done with this food allergy crap after finding out about my Celiac disease but apparently if you have one food intolerance, chances are you’re going to have another one. It’s like some deity with hemorrhoids is saying “You like cheese, right? Chocolate? Sorry. I know you were getting happy again so I decided to nip it in the bud before you were too joyful. Have a scary allergic reaction. Oh, and when we were making the foods you people like to eat? Yeah, we put this in absolutely everything you don’t have to make yourself. Keep telling yourself that at least I didn’t take corn away from you… yet.”
So after my round with Satan Pill I went on a Chebe bread binge. I used to make that with Parmesan cheese. I went a couple of days without eating any milk products after that, even skipping my usual half and half in coffee. Around 5 days ago I got up, dragged myself into the kitchen, made my morning coffee coffee. I came into the computer room, sat down, had a swig of the Elixir of Life and almost immediately felt like utter crap. I was wheezing, my lips and tongue were tingly as if I had eaten gluten (no chance) and later I could discover dark patches under my eyes. I took some atarax and, after I was done wheezing and panicking, thinking I might have to go to the ER, I decided to look up milk allergy. People think milk allergy is just for kids and that they outgrow it. I found all of 1 article on adult-onset milk allergy. Disgusted and upset, I decided that dairy had to go.
Four years ago I tried to cut dairy out of my diet when I cut out meat. That didn’t work so well and, lacking any motivation to stick it out, I went back to cheese and milk. There’s motivation in buckets and barrels now as I don’t ever want to feel that way again and there’s some evidence that it could help my panic attacks, so I’m sold. The problem is- GFCF is a pain in the ass. Milk is EVERYWHERE. In much more than gluten. GFCF is supposed to help autistic kids, so there are a lot of mommy blogs to slog through and tons of sites dedicated to the juvenile population who need to eat this way. I’m still looking for a support group that isn’t geared towards parents and children’s needs. Also, there’s way too much sugary kiddy-crap on the internet to sift through to find something useful. And honestly, I’ve seen some of these GFCF menus parents feed their autistic kids- it’s more sugar than regular kids get. I’m sure that’s not good. And I like sweets. But what I am seeing is like 70% of the stuff that’s plainly visible on the internet is sweet breakfast foods and desserts. I’ve had to have a prolonged dig to get to savories and such. My google-fu is not that bad.
I’m disgusted on that front because- c’mon, limiting a GF diet further is not fun. And I swear to all deities who don’t have hemorrhoids- If anyone tells me to shut up because it’s not as bad as X or as bad as cancer, they can go eat a bag of milk chocolate-covered gluten dicks. And it’s always people who either have martyr complexes or who have never been seriously ill who like to throw those things in a person’s face. So preemptively: Get over yourselves, y’all who are compelled to say such things. The milk chocolate gluten dicks are in aisle 5.
Also, there is this new thing my mother is doing that is driving me batty. She likes to have me over and have a good whinge about her problems and the family friend’s problems and then she asks me about mine… and totally ignores me right after she asks. Why the hell does she even ask me about this shit if she really doesn’t want to hear about it? She asks- for form, I guess, then immediately turns her head and goes to blocking me out with the telly or the dog. She never was really supportive in the first place but now it’s just this bare-bones pantomime of pretending to care about something she wanted to know about in the first place. I could get more feedback telling the cats. Consequently, I have not been over there for a week and a half and she has no idea about this new allergy and she damn well doesn’t know about the panic attacks because that’s a whole other industrial-sized can of worms I don’t ever intend on opening with her.
My mother is ashamed of my mental illness and believes that she is the only person in the world who has had true suffering, so no one had better tell her about their personal suffering because it pales in comparison to hers and therefore is not worthy and people ought to be ashamed to even detail it to her, since she has had the one true incident of personal grief and suffering in the history of the world… and we’re not talking about my father’s death, in case you’re wondering. Apparently this suffering happened before I was born and has negated every bit of suffering anyone close to her has gone through in the course of their lives. I think it was a chain of deaths in the family in a one or two week period sometime in the ’50s or ’60s. Anyway, it has negated her from having one particle of empathy for my emotional turmoil or Eloric’s and probably anyone related to her who she doesn’t need in order to look sterling to the outside world. If it makes her look good to the outside, she has oodles of sympathy and help for the sufferings of others.
So anyway. Big shopping trip this week. Although… I don’t seem as hungry without milk products as I was with them. I do hope this is here to stay as I could use some help in losing that 20# I keep harping on.
cats, 
